Best Parents Ever
My parents never cease to surprise me. They were so disappointed when I gradually cut my hair and started wearing “men’s” clothes: I had a really hard time doing those things because I knew they suffered. For a long time, my mom looked at me as if I had a terminal illness, except right before haircuts — then she couldn’t look at me at all. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined their reaction!
When my dad found my letter, he woke me up just to tell me that he loved me very much and that he’d deal with my mom. He showed her the letter today, and they both came to tell me that they had imagined many of the feelings I had written about, and that they just needed time to adjust. Neither of them feel ready to use my chosen name, but that’s fine by me; it would feel weird, anyway.
I’m partly relieved and partly wary — it’s hard to believe that they aren’t going to confront me at all. But I’m trying to wave those concerns away, because even if I do meet resistance in the future –when I start T, for instance– it’s useless to worry right now. In any case I know that I’m immensely privileged to have gotten such a warm response. I just wish it could be this way for everyone.
This whole experience goes to show that people’s reactions really can’t be predicted. I had read about cases like this, where open-minded parents respond badly or viceversa, but for me, the lesson only sank in through experience.