Big coming-out moment
Several weeks ago, I wrote a post stating that I wanted to come out to my parents. I didn’t change my mind: I just wanted to come out at the right moment, and I knew my parents were going to be really busy until now. I planned on coming out yesterday, but I lost my mind on Sunday and couldn’t finish my letter. And then I didn’t know how to actually hand it to them.
At this very instant, my coming-out letter sits on the kitchen counter, waiting for my early-bird dad to find it a few hours from now.
I don’t feel as nervous as I did during the last few days. I’ve been planning this for so long –writing the letter, finding resources they could relate to, printing out articles by supportive parents of trans children– that it feels as if I had come out already (almost). At least, I’m getting this over with. The tension was affecting me physically.
Really, how shocked can my parents be when they read my letter? I’m pretty sure my mom noticed that I bind. They already assume I’m a lesbian, so being trans can’t be SOOO much worse. In some senses it’s “worse” –I’m altering their whole perception of their child— but they’re already afraid for my safety; and it might be safer to be a straight-looking guy than a visibly queer woman. On the other hand, I wasn’t much of a tomboy growing up, so they might hang onto that as “proof” that it’s just a phase.
These predictions are probably useless, because they’re going to react with their hearts rather than their minds. Even if my trans identity were totally obvious, and made perfect sense, they would still be shocked.
Wish me luck :) And above all, the confidence to get through this unscathed.