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Daughterson: Coyote Grace

September 6, 2009

“Girl meets Girl. Girl becomes Boy. Girl and Boy become a band. Meet COYOTE GRACE.”

I just found out about the band Coyote Grace — I loved the song “A Guy Named Joe”.  A lot of their lyrics are about being trans: isn’t that neat? Music can express universal emotions, but there are certain experiences that most people just don’t have. It’s nice to see one’s life reflected in a song every once in a while:

I am a self-made man, born with my two hands
I been waiting for so long to finally stand
But I have no history, one day I just came to be
I barely know who I am
Ghost Boy

(lyrics for A Guy Named Joe)

I also liked the words to “Daughterson” — the title announces great things, and the first stanza is the perfect trans kid’s rant:

My haircut don’t look right, my clothes don’t fit just right,
them boy clothes are too big and the girls’ too tight.
My feet, they look too small, and I ain’t very tall,
I fight with my mom every time I go to the mall.

I couldn’t find the lyrics anywhere, so I transcribed them (although there were a few lines I couldn’t catch). The video and transcription, after the jump.

Daughterson by Coyote Grace

My haircut don’t look right, my clothes don’t fit just right,
them boy clothes are too big and the girls’ too tight.
My feet, they look too small, and I ain’t very tall,
I fight with my mom every time I go to the mall.

If I can’t be your daughterson, I ain’t nothing at all.

Kids won’t leave me and my queenie brother alone.
I don’t get picked to be on teams, oh I am scrappy and I’m mean,
Those girls seem to look right through me.

My body has betrayed me, my life is so upsetting.
If I had only known about those girls, they saw me all right.

But I’m obviously a man, but I sit down on the can,
I get shots on the leg by my lady’s loving hand.
I got scars across my chest, Dr Brownstein is the best,
Ain’t no one can make me wear a dress.

Well, just because I’ve done this doesn’t mean you’ve got to do this too.
You don’t know what it’s like, now do you?
Well, I think there’s a few of you that do.

You say I’m going to hell, well I’ve been down that well,
And God is a big boy, he can judge people himself.
“Don’t mess with God’s design”, well, where do you draw the line?
How ‘bout botox, fat pills, warfare, deforestation, laser hair removal, the death penalty…

Well, I think I’m doing fine.
Well, you’re so scared of everything…
And who are you to force me to believe what you think Jesus meant?

I grew up under blue skies; the pain has made me wise.
My body is my home, I won’t ever be alone,
I’ve found my place behind this microphone.
Well, I have chose my consequence, I have chosen my name.

And I can be your daughterson, ’cause they’re one and the same.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. September 6, 2009 11:44 pm

    cool! thanks for sharing

  2. September 7, 2009 8:10 am

    Nice. I’ve been reading your blog for some time, but I don’t think I’ve commented on any of your posts. I sure have reasons to thank you for writing — I think I have a female friend, who may be trans. Your blog has given me a better understanding of how she may be feeling about herself. She avoids talking about trans issues and I think it would be too rude of me or that I may scare her off, if I confront her about it. Mhm.

    Thank you again and keep writing!

    • genderkid permalink*
      September 7, 2009 4:07 pm

      I think it’s neat that you’re trying to understand your friend, and that you aren’t pushing her to come out (if she really is trans). I wonder how I would feel if I were ever in her situation. It would be a huge relief to realize that my friend is trans-friendly, but I might get a little paranoid as well: I would start wondering who else could notice.

      I guess it depends on the individual: personally, I would like to have some friends I could be open with, but others would rather be stealth. In any case, I think I’d rather come out on my own terms, when I sense someone is open-minded. Even when I don’t come out, I appreciate open-minded people immensely and feel much more comfortable around them.

  3. September 8, 2009 10:47 am

    I think I understand what you mean, when you said it could be scary if people noticed. But what if one’s figured it out and isn’t aware of the fact in a mean sort of way?

    I decided not to push her and just leave it to her to decide if she wants to tell me or not.

    PS: Hah, I haven’t talked or written in English in a long, long time. It takes a while to gather myself together and reply in a meaningful way.


    • September 8, 2009 7:31 pm

      “But what if one’s figured it out and isn’t aware of the fact in a mean sort of way? ” It’s a tough decision, even if you know that you mean well. I wouldn’t know what to do in your situation, even though being trans myself might give me some extra “privilege” to bring up the subject.

      Whatever you decide to do, I’m glad you’ve been thinking about your friend’s feelings. I think I would have made the same decision –not pushing her– but, of course, my opinion isn’t necessarily “right” (I don’t think there’s only one right choice, so don’t worry about disagreeing with me!).

      PS: Thanks for taking the time to comment! Your situation with your friend has gotten me thinking. And it’s always good to know there are nice people out there : )

  4. September 8, 2009 5:15 pm

    i enjoy this very much, stole it for my blog too.

    dude’s mad good looking too …

  5. gunk permalink
    September 8, 2009 7:53 pm

    wow, coyote grace rock! thanks for the link, i’ll be spreading the word to my trans and queer mates.

  6. Lox permalink
    September 11, 2009 3:51 pm

    Hey there!
    Thanks for sharing this with us, I’m an addict since yesterday, I listened to Coyote Grace for hours yesterday night, receiving weird looks from my roommates. ‘Daughterson’ is definitely my favorite song, dealing with FtM issues using Folk music style is really a good idea! And the lyrics help giving a less daunting/diabolical image of the FtM community. (I’m FtM too).

    By the Way, they also have a Myspace on wich you can find some other songs (and a studio version of Daughterson), and if you click on the “Lyrics” link in the player, you can have the complete lyrics (even if you had most of them!).

    Thanks again! And good luck for school…(It sucks for me too!)

  7. p.a. permalink
    September 23, 2009 5:27 am

    hey just came across this blog these two are long time friends of mine. mind if i pass this on to them. they’d be flattered.

    • genderkid permalink*
      September 23, 2009 3:09 pm

      Neat! They probably already know they’re awesome, though.

  8. Mollie permalink
    December 20, 2009 3:34 pm

    I read your blog from time to time. (I came across it via Keegan’s blog.) This band is great! And so are your posts!

  9. Claudius Maximus permalink
    March 4, 2010 1:12 pm


    I wanted to thank you for introducing me to such great band. I got the opportunity to see them live and they are totally awesome. I got the chance to chat with Joe and he is so freaking down to earth and charming. Ingrid is gorgeous and funny. Their music melts my heart and lifts my soul.

    Also I appreciate you putting your heart on the line and sharing your journey in this blog. I have being able learn so much from you . Thank you for all that you do.

    PS. Thank you for the transcription of their songs.

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