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The Odyssey of Finding Pants

February 18, 2009

I never liked buying clothes. Before questioning my gender, I had a hard time finding girl’s clothes I liked, but I couldn’t even conceive the notion of buying in the men’s section (I had the binary well internalized). I kept looking for my own girl “style”, hoping to find something I felt comfortable wearing; altough being so picky made me feel superficial.

When I started identifying as trans, I realized that I couldn’t find my girl-style because I didn’t feel like a girl in the first place. I became suddenly aware of all the oh-so-comfortable, oh-so-me men’s clothes available — if I dared to buy it against my mother’s wishes.

When I finally plucked up the courage to go into a men’s store, I found an obstacle I hadn’t thought of: men’s clothes come in men’s sizes. I am only boy-sized, and thin to boot. I now know a couple of stores that sell extra-small T-shirts, and I can wear small shirts if necessary. Switching to boy shirts made me feel so much better. I could finally look at myself in mirrors without feeling my stomach twist.

Pants were a tougher issue. I have female-wide hips, but men’s pants are simply humongous on me. After months of wearing boy shirts, I still couldn’t find boy pants in my size. I went into store after store, feeling more and more frustrated, asking the store clerks for their smallest size. They were really nice; they tried to find something my size, and you could tell they didn’t want to send me to a kids’ store.

I couldn’t bring myself to go to a children’s shop: all of them have toddler-sized things in their windows. Why are there stores for teenage girls, but not for teenage boys? I mean, even boys need clothes when they aren’t kids anymore, but haven’t grown much either!

I ended up buying a huge pair of jeans out of desperation. They didn’t look too good on my thin legs, but I had to get out of my girl-fitting pants. I didn’t think I’d ever find anything my size — even T can’t do miracles (actually, T might make things worse, since it’ll melt my hip fat away!)

But, recently, a store clerk offered me a pair of extra-snug-fitting pants. And they fit! Maybe I wasn’t condemned to a no-pants life, after all. I had gotten really dramatic about the whole affair: I honestly thought there were no adult pants in my size. Now, I’m more optimistic: it might be harder to find clothes my size, but it isn’t impossible.

PS: Hudson’s FTM Guide includes a section on finding clothes for short and small guys.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. sr. Rago permalink
    February 18, 2009 2:31 pm

    ¿De qué «hip fat» estades hablando? ¡Yo no creo que tengades un gramo de grasa en ese cuerpillo esquelético que habedes!

  2. genderkid permalink*
    February 18, 2009 3:24 pm

    No parece, pero la poca grasa que tengo se acumula en lugares femeninos (caderas, muslos, traste… tetas!). (Y no, no te voy a mostrar; igual no creo que te interese mucho!)

  3. February 18, 2009 8:12 pm

    Most of my boy-pants come from Old Navy, but recently my mum got me some pants in the largest size from the boys section in a department store in the mall and they fit quite well. Unfortunately, my favorite pants are the baggy kind with lots of pockets and chains, and I always have to roll them up and pin them. I wouldn’t be too upset over shopping in a kids store; I met a short, skinny bio-guy who said he has to shop there to get anything that fits, but it’s also cheaper.

  4. February 18, 2009 9:56 pm

    I’m not in exactly the same situation (imagine my surprise when I turned out to be a Large Man by Jockey’s standards), but I still feel you on the difficulty of finding things for one’s body type. I have to stock up on jeans because apparently only one place in my immediate vicinity carries the ones I like (that can accommodate my girly hips while still being dudely, without being overly baggy).

    I’m actually probably better off now than when I still bought anything (besides bras) in the women’s section, because I’m tall for a woman and many women’s shoes don’t come in my size.

  5. February 19, 2009 8:24 am

    Glad to hear you got something that you can wear!

    Another idea, maybe it will help… my brother (a cis guy) was quite short and really skinny as a young teen. He could usually find good fitting pants at Land’s End. It’s kinda pricey but they last a long time. Maybe those would work for you.

  6. genderkid permalink*
    February 19, 2009 11:26 am

    Thanks for the suggestion, but there is no Land’s End or Old Navy in Argentina :)

    Apparently, all sorts of people have trouble with finding clothes… I remember, before identifying as trans, I insisted that women’s stores had to carry masculine clothing. I guess shops just aren’t geared towards small markets (gender-variant people are probably a very small consumer group).

  7. Becky permalink
    February 21, 2009 12:42 am

    I’m just a soft butch, not trans in anyway, but I’m 5 foot 3, 120 pounds. I wear boys husky jeans from Gap, and they’re great. I always have to hem them, but they’re baggy enough to fit my not-quite-male hips, and continue to be loose enough through the thighs. I love them.

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